Things to Do At 1AM on a Work Night

It never fails I'm dead tired up until about 10pm and in the struggle to not be a grandmother and go to sleep before ten a magical thing happens.

10:01pm: "Well I'm a wake now"

11:01pm: Bored insomnia sets in

12:01pm: Maybe if I lie down sleep will find me soonish

1:00am: sleeps not coming so let’s make the most of it

Things to do at 1am:

Come up with the idea to put some classical music on repeat. Figure out very soon that this is not a good plan because it's too loud / too fast pace / eyes won't stay closed. Next comes the phase of finding better music, you can go through your old play list and soon discover the ear candy you had long forgotten about.

1:15am: Now that you have your groove on you must get a snack, but you tell yourself it's not good to eat at 1:15am. Just this once won't hurt… you roll into the kitchen open the fridge door in your boxers and scratch your ass while debating on the cuisine for your late night pig out.

Beans: no, they make my butt talk...
Leftovers: no, they’re about a day past even thinking about it...

Freezer door opens

Hot pockets: awww yeah, but I better eat two because I'm hungry like a wolf

1:20am: beep beep beep beep beep

1:21am: burn the flesh from your mouth and lips, now you’re really awake. Fucking hot pocket...

1:30am: continue eating your midnight snack and let the deep inter secrets of your life’s ambition come out. You make your way from failed ambitions to late night radio personality.

2:08am: you're still practicing your late night radio host personality voice and you're starting to think you sound pretty good so you keep on going until your mouth is dry. Then you remember you had Ice in the fridge… yes! A cocktail that'll put me to sleep.

2:43am: Still looking at a list of cocktails that you could make, you find one but you have everything but one ingredient… Damn. Well it's too late to drink a cocktail anyway, so you could have a shot… No you go with your usual Green tea and peach whiskey (I like to call it chasing the bird dog).

3:07am: yea a radio host that's the life for me or maybe a sea captain, yea a sea captain I could travel and see the world… from a boat… and smell like fish… Na not my thing.

7:00am: white snake alarm, "what… happen… damn it's Thursday I have to go to work..." brush the booze and hot pocket scar tissue out of your mouth and show up to work like a champion...