Watch out ladies, I'm betting on the ponies...

So I got myself up and out of my funk this past weekend. Went to the salon and got myself a proper haircut. The older lady cutting my hair kept saying to me “I’m not coming on to you, but my favorite thing in this world is a curly-headed man!” I’m sitting here thinking “for a woman not to be coming on to a man she’s laying it on pretty damn thick” it took her like an hour to give me a haircut (quick fun fact I love older women, although I also love younger women, actually I guess I just love woman in general lol). She kept rubbing my head and telling me stories. and if you’re wondering if I would have came on to her, that’s for sure a yes, she was fairly attractive for a woman of her age. There was another woman working at another chair and she kept trying to get into the conversation, which I was all about. The older lady kept cutting her off, and I keep pulling her back in. She was a short, spunky, fantastic breasted, dark brunette that I had sorta had my eye in upon entering the salon. I made some small talk with them after my haircut and decided I would put talk to the staked brunette next time I came in. I didn’t want the break the older lady’s heart.

I drove up north to meet up with some of my friends. We had decided to go to the local race track and bet on the ponies. like usual I spent Friday night trying to figure out what I was going to wear to the Derby festivities (everyone knows you can’t go looking like a slob). I hit up a couple stores on the way and find myself some pretty fantastic sportcoats (Don’t judge me I’m a fan…) at Kohls I found this fantastic mint green one and a white shirt with flamingos on it (to me that’s a winner). So the lady checking me out at the counter was all about my flamingo shirt. She started flirting it up a little, I started flirting back. Yet another woman who wasn’t bad for her age. She told me she was about to go on a cruise for her 50th birthday. I responded with “I’ll have a bag ready!” I left it at that.

I made my way over to my friend’s place where I put on an impromptu fashion show to figure out my look for the next day (needless to say the mint green and the flamingos won). We all went to bed there soon after and I decided to download some dating apps. It seems like I do fantastic everywhere except for when I’m at home looking for a date… At some point I drifted off with my phone in my hand.

We go the track and it is pouring the rain, which a part of me was kind of ok with. I find myself the nearest mint julep stand. I’m pretty sure my julep stopped about a quarter inch down and the rest of the drink was straight bourbon, I’m not hatin I’m just sayin… I got super tipsy. I was walking around soaked in my sportcoat and bird shirt. I was chatting it up with everyone. I’m Mr. Social Butterfly when I get a little drink in me. We all went and made our super uninformed bets and hung out in the rain waiting for them to run. It was a pretty fantastic time actually. Soon everyone wanted to leave and go eat ribs at my buddy’s girl friend’s parent’s house. I bought a bottle of bourbon on the way… We get there and you can smell the charcoal soldering. they had this fantastic dip, I don’t know if it was good because it was good or it was good because I was drunk but I was inhaling it. Then they made guacamole, which I’m notorious for not being a fan of, but I ate the shit out of that as well lol. I drank half of that bottle of bourbon that I bought, downloaded a betting app, won 50 bucks, and passed out just long enough to wake up to ribs with a buzz… It might have been the booze talking but I’m pretty sure my friend’s mom was hitting on me. which I’m very okay with… I think she might have been drunk as well lol. I finished eating my weight in ribs and was almost comatose when my friend looked at me and said “you ready to go out” and like a grizzly bear coming out of hibernation I raised up out of the recliner with a massive long grunt and said, “yes I am.”

We went to one of my old hangouts from years ago, it’s a massive barge they turned into a bar, and it use to be freaking fantastic. I took a shot of my bourbon in the parking lot and walked in like I owned the damn place. I looked around for a moment and I was like “what the hell?” Everyone was young… In my time there was a hodgepodge of people there. Old, young, famous, you name it and they came. maybe it was just an off night but we ended up leaving and going to the bar district.

My friend called her lesbian couple friends up and we met them at the little hole in the wall. We all chugged a beer and shared our favorite stories of our mutual friend, needless to say, we all became friends pretty quick. a few beers deep we ended up walking over to the lesbian couples favorite bar. We all walked in dressed as we were for the derby, and my buddy and I literally got eye fucked. I’m not saying I hated it, I’m just saying I wish it was by women and not guys… we find a little corner in the back that just so happen to be next to the bathroom. about every 30 seconds a couple would walk by to go to the bathroom to do I’m sure was unmentionable things and drain their bladder. Every couple that walked by commented on my mint green sportcoat and my flamingo shirt. Lucky me… I’m a pretty confident man in my sexuality, but the whole post bathroom touching that was kind of sending me for a whirl. Hey, but at least I know I picked a good outfit lol. We heard last call and we did the walk through the front again getting eye fucked the whole time. We parted ways with the lesbians. My buddy turns to me and says “you were flirting awfully damn hard with those girls.” and to be honest I didn’t know I was doing anything lol. either way, it made for an interesting time.

I spent the next day trying to hold my head in a position that it didn’t hurt. once I found that position I made the two-hour drive back to my house and slept off my hangover facedown on my couch.

Big Easy Visits The Big Easy

So a few weeks back my buddy ask me if I wanted to do a dudes trip to Gatlinburg, and I'm thinking hell yea anything to get out of this damn place for a few days. So I'm waiting and waiting for the trip, well about a week before we're going to go, the folks at work tell us all about how we're going to get a week off for spring break unpaid furlough time (which turned out to be illegal and we got payed for it... SCORE!!!) So I'm thinking it's not very often I get myself a week off. I call my buddy up and I tell him if we're going to do something we better make it count since I get a weeks’ vacation. He brings up Sarasota, and I'm thinking nah that's more of a Christmas trip... then we talk about Savanna, better but I'm just not feeling it, then it hits me why fuck around... let’s go to New Orleans, it'll be a good time no question of that and I've never been. So we agree on the big easy.

About three days go by and I start thinking why not take the girls, I'm sure they would enjoy it to, plus kind of keep me out of trouble. I invite them and they start bringing up all these valid points on how we have 2 days and I still haven't booked a hotel or anything... I'm a slacker and we all know I'm a slacker, I'd rather trust in god and luck rather than plan ahead. But since it's like a 15 hour drive an all, I ended up spending half a day at work picking out the perfect little 150 year old bed and breakfast right off of Bourbon Street, no uber for this guy...

Ol girl and myself packed our stuff, she had maybe one back and I had a literal shit ton of camera equipment because I was planning to do a couple of photo shoots while I was there. Then we headed west to meet up with my buddy and his ol lady.

On a side note I had been talking to this new girl for several weeks, seemed like a sweet girl, we had been taking it super slow and it was actually pretty nice, a little out of the ordinary for me though, not that I was complaining. I thought I might invite her to New Orleans because she needed a trip as bad as I did.

We make it to my buddies house about the time the University Of Cincinnati is getting their ass kicked in the championships, and his little dog is going nuts because I just walked in the door, FYI she loves me... we sit there and finish out the game, then we start rolling south.

I've always loved a good late night road trip the women are asleep and me and my buddy are reminiscing about times lost but not forgotten, those stupid ass things we did and those stupid ass things we dream of doing. It’s a special kind of moment between bro's that lasted hours into the night.

We start to fade and we figure it’s as good as time as any for the girls to take over just south of Birmingham, we hop in back and look like a couple of jalopies with our heads doddling, Next thing I know we're at some shitty ass gas state just north of lake Pontchartrain, which immediately breaths life back into me because I know we're within an hour or so of getting out of that cramped ass car. The girls start taking selfies with the gas station and someone had taken a deuce at the gas pump, I mean who does that...

We roll into the outskirts of New Orleans and you can kind of tell that a lot of things just never were the same after Katrina came though, abandoned 10 story buildings which was kind of unnerving to me for some reason, lots of homeless folks as well. I guess it was where I'm just not use to that short of thing, there's only one homeless lady where I'm from and she could have a place easily she just won't take it, everyone and their mom has tried to help her.

I didn't pack pants and it was only like 50 something when we made it too the place we we're staying, and I'm thinking, here we go... of course it’s cold as shit but I'm made for cold weather so fuck it. I roll in the place to check in and the lady says our room will be ready in an hour so we all go wonder around bourbon street for a little bit. We've been there maybe 45 minutes when the girl I took spent every penny she brought for the week on a few post cards and some other little trinket, needless to say that was a big red flag, I mean everyone knows you don't spend every penny in the first place you walk into on souvenirs... I got a phone call saying that our room was ready and that we had been up graded, I thought that sounded pretty nice. We all continued lumbering towards the river in search of food and we found this place that had Muffilettas, we walked in and the girls ask us what was on the menu, and we responded with "half or double?" I don't think they understood that they only sold one thing... we got our sandwiches and walked back to our hotel and we found out we had been up graded to the louis Armstrong sweet, it was a large two room apartment with a balcony overlooking the street and a large painting of louis Armstrong hanging on the wall next to one of the giant beds. We sit there enjoying our sandwiches and I took a nap so I don't know what anyone else did after that.

The first night we basically went to bourbon street and found food and booze, we ate at this little place called nola and it was packed up front so we got a room in back right next to the kitchen, and we we're the only ones there, we we're basically VIP's we could hear the cooks and the drifting smell of amazing food was first hand right off the stove. We got about a shit ton of food and we all split it between us. My hands down favorite thing on the planet at the moment was the Boudden balls, I have no clue what they actually are but there was some rice and what I assumed was sausage in them, I mean you could put a 55 gallon drum of them in front of me and I'd could mow though about 3 quarters of them before I even noticed... so we got ourselves stuffed and then we kept walking on bourbon street. There were a ton of people out, I got to see a parade which looked like a kick ass thing to do, they had a band and they were all wearing suits dancing wildly in the night it looked like my kind of crew. We had a couple hand grenades because well we were on Bourbon Street... and then we walked back and called it a night.

I got up the next morning with a fresh new outlook on life, it was time to drag my camera a long, me and my ol lady (for the moment) ended up wondering around on the streets and we wondered up on like a district of antique stores with some of the coolest shit in them, thank god I was on a budget because I could have bought a ton of old camera equipment, hats, just net shit in general. I didn't have room in the car anyway... one of the shops had like a 50's Chevy hood ornament across the top of the building and it was painted pink, I'm guessing it was some sort of old garage or something, that place really stuck out to me, it smelled of mold, grease, and dirty basement, it smelled like a place I'd like to hang out and get in trouble... we kept moving from shop to shop and made our way to the French market before too long there were bands playing and all kind of little touristy trinkets to buy, I kept moving personally... then we walked up the river for a bit and just relaxed where I saw a huge ass on a statue, I immediately took a pic of it and sent it to my buddy's ol lady. We walked and walked and walked some more and eventually made our way to the aquarium. Lots of kids’, lots of sea horse pictures, that was mainly for her though... I mean I could do that back home. We meandered our way back to Bourbon Street and back to Nola once again for a feast of boudden balls and whatever she got. We ended up back at the room for some pre gaming drinks, we discovered "the raisin" it was like this apple rum and cranberry juice, I mean hands fucking down it tasted like a raisin, and then we stumbled back outside to experience Bourbon Street in all its glory. 

My buddy bought 2 fish bowls to share and my ol girl was too spoiled to enjoy such a shitty concoction of cheap booze and koolade but I sure wasn't. We’re bee boppin around strolling in and out of bars trying to avoid the homeless and still have a good time. I post up outside of this bar where their having like a dueling pianos thing going on and it was amazing, they we're doing this rendition of The Dixie Cups - Chapel of love, with his own dirty perverse words of course and it was pretty amazing. So my buddy sees this trashy ass strip club the girls can go to, 2 bucks to get in... So I'm thinking hells yea I could use a break, we give the girls their two bucks a piece and they go on their Mary little way.

So me and my buddy plan to go back to the room rest up a little get some more "free" drinks, so I ask Siri for a route, and I mean we get ass hole lost in some shady as shit areas. we're walking down basically the skid row of New Orleans and I feel like we walked 17 damn miles out of the way, and I started thinking did I fucking use the trip thing for the car rather than walking, I checked and it said walking but either way it was bull shit... so after an hour of walking we had just walked in to the room when we both get text "where are you..." and it's the moment you look at each other and it's like in unison "we didn't see this" so we kick back have a few drinks take a deuce. 45 minutes later we have several text messages between us, and I start feeling guilty because I really didn't want them walking back on their own though like skid row. So we met up at Nola again, didn't eat this time though... and we made our way back to the room.

We hang out for a couple hours and I feel like after the strip club someone flipped a switch in the girl I was with, we just kind of went off the deep end, became a damn bully, and got rude, it was super strange to be honest, ungrateful for everything. I'm a pretty easy going guy, but if there's one thing I can't stand in this world, it's someone who is ungrateful and has no respect for people. I mean it's not hard to be nice, I do it every day, just put a little effort out... Me and her go to bed and I'm lying there kind of feeling it, so I start kissing her shoulders and her back, giving her a rub down, she lies on her back and I get on top of her about to do my thing, and I look at her and I start thinking "I don't want this" and like a real jack ass I climb off roll over and go back to sleep.

Tomorrow is a new day, ol girl had already gotten out of bed and rolled down stairs to get weird with the lady that ran the place. I'm just kind of lying there enjoying the rest. Someone knocks on the door and it's my buddy and he's like "soooo dude did you do the wild thing last night" and I tell him how I was about to but backed out and he's says "good for you dude, good for you, I feel like you dodged a bullet there... so what happen to her after the strip club last night???" so I guess I wasn't the only one who noticed the bat shit craziness.

We all kind of get up and going sometime after noon and I bring my camera along, we start meandering through the streets taking photos of life in New Orleans, I'm in hog heaven because that's the only reason I came there any way was to take some photographs, and eat a shit ton of food. So many astatically pleasing thing to see from the building materials to the artists whose works lined the streets. New Orleans was a town that pleasured the senses, everything was beautifully constructed, the smells of food lofted though the air, and you could hear a new brass band every 50 feet or so. It was such a weird and wonderful experience.

For dinner we ended up eating at the little Italian place called frank's, we got a couple sea food dishes, 5 lbs. of craw daddies, I ended up with some sort of ham, cheese, and pot roast dish. We had the absolute sweetest waitress that I think I've ever met, just so easy going, and soooo sweet, just the kind of person that makes your blood pressure go down to be around. so they gave me this au jus with my sandwich and it was hands down the best au jus I've ever had, I actually ask for a cup to just kind of sip on (she brought me a dipping cut but I could have so went for a big gulp full of this heart attack juice). There was a super bold pigeon there that I thought was just going to crawl up my shirt and eat all the crumbs, and I was kind of hoping he would to be completely honest. I'm not gonna lie, I've never eaten a craw daddy but I was absolutely terrible at it, I mean I was a train wreck, I maybe at 1 to everyone else's 10...

So we we're out on our journey again, we ended up back on bourbon street again getting all hammered down. we went to this little bar on the corner, it only had a couple of people in it and there was a live band playing like some throw back Stevi Nicks stuff, I'm being a little shutter bug taking pic after pic after pic, and one of the security guys comes up to me and says "if you want some advice I'd put that away..." so I got a little wound up after that, I really didn't want my camera stolen, but then I was also thinking me and my buddy aren't small dudes so maybe I wish they would try some shit like that, things would get real weird real quick... so I'm like "fuck it" and we keep rolling down bourbon street, where we found this band (B Street Benny), loved them, they knew how to play, what sounded good, and just when to play what, Not gonna lie when they played "shout" at like 3am it was just what I need to get back in action. We for the most part closed the place down that night.

 

so we woke up and it was our last full day so we had to make it count we rolled out of the room like at noon and stumbled our way through town again, with blistered up feet and tired ass legs, we had a few things left on the list that we're must do's before we left. We wondered down to Jackson Park and experienced that for a while, loved all the old trees draping over the park, and there was this one tree with a ton of beads hanging in it that really just called my name, I looked at it for like 30 minutes. we ended up at the carrousel bar although there wasn't room to sit down and have a beer... what a shame... we found some new places we hadn’t saw before, like sort of an Irish area, we circled back around and ended up at the oldest bar in New Orleans, it had no light and lots of candles sitting around, it was super dark and I loved it, I feel like a bar should feel like that bar when you go in, even though I wasn't about to piss, I was kind of scared I might have to and then the whole no lights thing I was kind of thinking "fuck that..." that's a good way to get yourself all nasty pretty quick...

we make it back to the room and I just hit the porch thinking about how I have to be packed up and ready in the morning, but feeling confident that I had done most of the things that I wanted to do, and then it hits me we didn't visit a grave yard, I mean it was pretty high on my list of things to do and I forgot... so I looked up the Marie Laveau was in and it was literary maybe a quarter mile from where we were staying and I was all like "What the fuck..." 

Everyone's awake early the next morning because we have to leave, my "ol lady" woke up extra early in order to go cry with the lady that rain the place, weird... whatever... I go sit on the porch for a minute and of course it's 75 and sunny with a slight amazing breeze. We throw all our shit in the car and start rolling north, my "ol lady" has about a 15 hour pouting session, until we get to my buddies house, where I part ways with him and his ol lady. It's like someone flips a damn switch on ol girl, she became super sweet, and actually pleasant to be around again so that got kind of weird.

I drop her off, which was actually the last time I've saw her or even said a world too her for that matter. it's 3Am and I give my Mother a call just to let her know I made it because she seems to like that kind of thing, and I'm thinking the whole way home how nice it's going to be just to lie down on my couch for maybe 10 minutes and that's when she informs me that my father had had a heart attack about 12 hours prior to me getting home...

 

Fuck Fuck Fuck

What a god damn cruel world... I miss my life, I miss having people I could call up and have a drink with, But I miss friends most of all. It all feels so wrong, what am I doing? Same shitty life day in and day out. God I miss Cincinnati... Everyday I see the other piece of my soul just out of reach and I can't sand it, it kills every part of me. I try to smile, but it's usually pasted on lately I've been getting ask why I'm so sad, I hate that question... But secretly I'd love to talk about it... god it's just one big fucking joke, and life is the punchline. If someone told me Armageddon was tomorrow I would I'd turn and walk off into the woods with my dog and a bottle of bourbon and have the last laugh. I need a beer, my hammock, and some sunshine...

Lake House Part Deux Visit

I had been down a couple visiting some friends in SC, as I was about to leave my buddy calls me and ask if I could come to TN for a few days. So like any red blooded American I call in to work, and drive across the southern half of the blue ridge parkway and meet up for a few days, Kind of scope the place out for a bit. then my buddy tells me that he's gonna try and have a get together for a weekend. we start hatching this plan... He's going to invite mostly couples, myself, and this girl that I've liked for a long time. All I have to do is catch a ride with her close to my home and plant some seeds... A couple days go by and I end up talking to the girl that I like and I ask her if I can hitch hike south with her for that weekend, and she's all about it. Not gonna lie I just kind of walked blindly into it. A few things you have to understand about this chick is she really doesn't talk much, she's pretty socially awkward most of the time, she's sort of mean when you first meet her. Truth be told I wasn't even sure why I liked her, well other than we act just alike. As the trip approaches I'm kind of starting to wonder if maybe this was a mistake. 3+ hour drive, what are we gonna chat about, is it going to be a trip full of silence??? I mean obliviously I knew I was going to have to take the bull by the horns here. So I'm on my way to our meeting spot and I really don't want to get there early because I'm parking in a neighbor hood next to my buddy's brother's house and it's like 1am people will think I'm casing the place or something... So I'm taking my sweet time like driving miss Daisy sweet time, and I still beat her there by like 20 minutes. She shows up and like Jumps out of the car just bouncing off the fucking wall, I guess she was excited... So I pile all my shit in her car and we start with the small talk. We talk about anything and everything. She told me how she bought candy and Christmas ornaments for the elderly people where she works, she told me about each and everyone of her dogs, She told me a few of the crazy things that's happen to her. I mean we talked the whole trip and there may have been a minute and a half worth of silence the whole ride. Not gonna lie I was loving it. so we're almost to where we're going I mean like maybe a half mile from the house and it's maybe 4am by this point, my buddy calls. Him: "hey dude where you at?" Me: "dude... Took a wrong turn... I'm close to (whereever)" Him: "you're shitting me..." Me: "I wish I were dude..." His ol lady: (in the back ground) "what! WHAT! HAND ME THAT FUCKING PHONE!!!" Me: "heyyyyyy" His Ol lady: "don't you fucking heyyyyy me, where the fuck are you!!!" Me: "I told ya I got turned around" His Ol lady: (talking to the girl I'm with) "hey there sweetie did you guys stop to eat or something cause it's ok if you did I'm just wondering???" Girl with me: "No... We Just got lost..." His Ol lady: "give the pone back to him..." His Ol lady: "are you a retared fuck?!?!" Me: (as I'm opening the back door) "really... You have to call my education out..." His Ol lady: "fuck you..." So we walk straight to the kitchen sit down at the island and start poring drinks. We're all making fun of my buddy's ol lady from going from 0 to 60 and flying off the damn handle so quick. Before I know it the Suns coming up and I need sleep, I'd already been up like 36 hours or something... the next day we all wake up and the girls all go wine tasting, my buddy is sick with the flu which I now have on a side now (thanks dick), and the other guy is face deep in his phone. So I decided to hook a projector up and watch some movies started out with some of the Rodger Moore bond classics, and shuter down with Frogs (a horror movie with more toads than frogs) the scariest part of that movie was seeing Sam Elliot without a mustache. The other dude there starts saying words like hoagie and cheese fries so we find like the only place that will drive out in the sticks to deliver any kind of food. I can't decide on which hoagie I want so I order two, I figured my buddy would want one anyway. I ended up giving him the ol sampler platter have western bbq half meatball. The girls all roll in about 8 or so, I'd been drinking since, well since I walked in the night before... My buddy had been napping, and the other guy was eating and saying words. they roll in with ping pong balls and a 20 pack of off brand solo cups that actually contained 19. Long story short I was gods gift to beer pong that night, I couldn't be beat, I even took my glasses off and I was still undefeated... after I kicked ass I watched the girl I'm into get on the floor and play with the young golden retriever that was there, not gonna lie, I'm into dog girls... I start doing this thing in my "monster truck arena" voice "Jason Voorhees, Molly Ringwald, Face the trouble of being a adolescent girl. In 16 candles!!!" So that was a think for a while, we just kind of went back and fourth with 80's movies because my buddy and myself are the only two old enough to remember 80's movies. As the night moves on people starting to dwindle down. the young ones when to bed early, followed by my sick buddy, so it's me the girl I like, and my buddy's ol lady still fighting the good fight playing some sort of Disney game, I'm putting in the good fight but I'm still getting my ass kicked, for the record I think it was a loaded game. about 3 times during this game the girl I like keeps saying things like "lets watch Spectre" "we're going to watch Spectre, right?" but she only says it loud enough for me to hear her and no one else. We moved on to rummy and the girl I like starts getting sort of odd it's like she's just trying to be like super annoying to my buddy's ol lady just so she'll go to bed, which to be honest I was all about, a little alone time never hurt anyone. So about 20 minutes of her being all annoying and she went to bed. I grab myself a glass of water and head for the couch and she's leaning over a stool in the kitchen, she looks up at me and in her sweetest little voice says "take a shot with me" in my mind I'm like "FUCK... DO I HAVE TO..." but it came out as "OOOOOOKKKKKKKK..." Pineapple coconut rum... Between the this point and the 5 minutes earlier that my buddy's ol lady went to bed her attitude completely changed, she's dancing around all happy not annoying at all, more just pleasant to be around. she brings out this Ecig thing I've never tried it, she's never tried it, so we tried it. It wasn't bad tasted kind of like burnt marshmallows. Here is a fun fact for everyone when I can blow smoke rings I have to be totally fucked up, so I was sitting there blowing smoke ring after smoke ring completely messed up and she looks over and says "teach me?" and I'm all like "maybe..." I tried but I didn't have the words to describe it... so she keeps wondering around the room dancing and stuff, then she pulls up her shirt and says I really need to loose a few pound so I can wear this (what ever) that reveals her mid section, not gonna lie I was looking and it looked pretty flat already to me. She kind of looks at me for a minute and says like super quietly "miss money penny scheduled a masturbation session..." not gonna lie that caught me completely off guard FYI we're both like super into James Bond and my pee pee probably sneezed a little like the mind was willing but the body was shutting down kind of thing, and she keeps trying to get me to take more shots. I kind of feel like she was trying black me out for some reason... We all wake up the next day, I have a little hair of the dog (amaretto and hot chocolate) personally I feel like there are a few drinks which qualify as a good breakfast drink (mimosas, bloody Marys, amaretto & chocolate, and tequila but only if there are biscuits and gravy involved...) everyone is having breakfast when I walk in and I ask my buddy's ol lady if she put amaretto in those pancakes, of course she didn't... so I made this Amaretto and syrup concoction, that was amazing. I finish eating and we pack up. we're on our way north and we don't really say much for the first 20 minutes or so, I think it's because we're both worn out, but I start thinking I'm not going to waste this opportunity so I start talking to her about her plans in school and what she plans to do after that, so we're back to chatting it up, we talk about some of our worst fears (most of them being pretty much the same), we talked about traveling abroad, we talked about the bond movies. We pulled over at maybe one of the worst K-marts in America I do believe. she had to go to the bathroom and ask if I would go to the K-mart and we go in the store I'm in there maybe 2 minutes and I've been hit on 4 times, I've saw 5 people with a neck tattoo, a woman ran into me on purpose trying to pic pocket me, I walk out front and stand there for a moment and I watch a woman stealing things in her hoodie, and a man with a pug in lepord skins walks up and grunts at me "do you work here", and the girl I'm with can't seem to find a working bath room so she has to go in a men's room in the back she later tells me. so I'm thinking "lets get the fuck out of here" I get to the car and I find a whole book of like medical cards and shit someone has dropped so I had to walk that back in the store and the guy I handed it too acted like he had just won the lottery for some reason. It was weird to say the lest. so we're back on the interstate and we're talking about bonnaroo and how kick ass it would be if Tom Jones was there as a headliner, so now we're having a Tom Jones power hour and I start telling them about that cult bus from last year, by this time we're almost back to my truck and we have to go a little farther north to catch Spectre. we get there and their making us pic our seat as we buy our ticket, and I thought that was the weirdest damn thing, but we rolled in and they had reclining chairs with foot rest on them, it was pretty damn legit. I could tell that her and myself were the to most excited people in the room, she couldn't sit still and I couldn't stop ginning. Spectre was fucking fantastic for the record, especially with my specially smuggled in Twizzlers... The movies over and we're heading out, she thanks me for watching Spectre with her, I think her in return and she keeps smiling at me as we're leaving and we part ways for the night. "Jason Voorhees, meets Bill Murry. In Stripes!!!" "Jason Voorhees, cuts a rug with Kevin Bacon in Foot Loose!!!" "Jason Voorhees, Faces he toughest opponent yet in wrestle mania III, better watch out hulk Hogan!!!" "Jason Voorhees, finds himself among some other misunderstood youth in the breakfast club!!!" "Jason Voorhees, and Robin Leach, exploring the lifestyles of the rich and famous!!! "Jason Voorhees, and Rodger Moore, find more than they bargain for when they meet Grace Jones in A View To A kill!!! Voorhees, Jason Voorhees... You're welcome....

One More Day Of...

One more day of…

One more day of beer in my hammock.

One more day of being a brother who has no siblings.

One more day of thinking out loud.

One more day of wasteful star gazing.

One more day of Jesus is waiting.

One more day of hearing this song on repeat.

One more day of hearing that frog croak.

One more day of you liking my Instagram.

One more day of echoing through the darkness.

One more day of thinking maybe tomorrow.

One more day of forgetting to be your lover.

One more day of not being sorry.

One more day of…