Lee Ann

not gonna lie I'm running pretty ragged today. This past weekend didn't stop. I ended up hitting up the movies on Friday night with my buddy, it was the new Liam Neeson. The movie wasn't really what I expected but I'm really glad it wasn't, it's worth the watch if you ask me, it's a thinker with a lot less action, and that's all I'm going to say. We ended up going back to my house and talking about women with our other buddy long into the night sitting on my back porch.

Morning comes pretty early for me. I've got a motorcycle ride coming up at noon but I couldn't sleep past 9am even thought I'm tired as can be. I run a few errands, and I end up getting the most pitiful phone call a few minutes after I roll out "dude??? are you still gonna go with us today???" (guy is almost in tears), and I respond with a "yep, just doing a few things first". So we end up going on our 200 mile horse farm ride which is one of my favorites. so we're out for like 5 hours. As soon as I roll back home my dad is waiting for me in the drive way to go to a hillbilly concert which I'm already way too warn out to think about but I ended up going anyway. I learned on thing about myself that night I've really gotten away from my white trash roots. drunk rednecks grinding on each other as far as the eye could see, and I was a sober as the pope. a brewski would have helped tremendously, but my grandmother was there and I'm not really one to drink in front of my family. So after we leave that cluster fuck I get home and crawl into my couch at 2am and asleep by 4am.

7am rolls around and I crawl back off my couch get a shower and clean my truck out. I'm on the road by 8:30am rolling down the interstate to pick up my friend Lee Ann, a lovely little blue eyed red head with a similar disposition as me in life. I drove to her house to pick her up for the renaissance fair. So I've got my phone out trying to find her house texting and doing that whole number and she peeks her head out of her house and runs and jumps in my truck, she's wearing this pretty blue dress with a gray cardigan (such a pretty girl). FYI this is my first time meeting Lee Ann we met on Match sometime back and we've been texting it up, I've only met a hand full of girls from online dating, it's really not my thing, but when some of the conversations I've had with her I really wanted to meet her.

So as I drive north I'm getting to know Lee Ann in person and I have to admit she's a real hoot. we're chatting it up about my weird little life and our dispositions about working our lives away and travel. Just really good conversation, the kind you can't have with a college freshman these days. I have to admit it was sooooo refreshing. It takes us a good hour to drive north and we almost get killed twice, some crazy ass was driving on our side on one of the back roads we were on, and again when I was merging on to the interstate I saw a plan landing and my dumb ass is all like "the plane, the plane" and a simi comes barreling past us. I shit myself and started laughing like an idiot.

We get to my buddies house and apparently they didn't even know I was coming they just happen to pull in the same time I did, and we all just pile in the car and head north again for another hour or so.

I've never been to a renaissance fair before this one. So I'm a giddy little giggle box because I'm all excited and stuff. As soon as we walked though the gate there was small girl in elf ears trying to see us a rock\candle (not the kind of thing that I can't live with out) and Lee Ann and myself are just trying to simply trying to turn her down nicely, well the girl looks at us and says in an angry voice "If you would stop and look at something you might enjoy it" and I'm standing there thinking did I just hear her correctly??? Shocked to say the least, but we keep walking. I feel like all four of us have a little bit of a culture shock going on because we're not use to this folks. We're all walking slowly up this hill kind of taking everything in and I see these tombstones on the left and I say out loud "kind of reminds me of pirates of the Caribbean" and about this time this calypso looking girl walks by and starts giggling all weird like, even though it wasn't about her I let her have it anyway.

My buddy's girlfriend buys this turkey leg and it smells just like baked ham, so I start yelling ham hock like an idiot. I kept looking at some of the smaller venders and I keep thinking how shady they are, like the corn dog girl all laid out on her booth hiking her leg up, I'm thinking nothing personal I just don't really want a corn dog from this lady, and another thing she had coolers not a deep fryer, so it's pre-made corn dogs, no thanks... Also they had some weird names for some of their food like the Italian Stallion, I mean is this something you have to go behind the food shack to finish receiving??? although I did buy one, I had cheese added to mine and I was thinking "Oh yea their gonna lay a slice of cheese on here let it melt in real nice" Nope... they took the nacho cheese out of the gallon and poured it directly onto my Stallion. So I'm eating with Lee Ann talking to this other couple sitting in the shade with us with cheese sauce all over my hands, in my beard, even all over my nose, I had one napkin and I had a system I was gonna make my mess and then clean up, but needless to say I looked like an 8 year old who couldn't quite find his mouth. Oh and the boy band, there was this little group of pre-teens at the food venders singing Africa by Toto and I'm thinking how do they even know that song??? but it was so weird because they were dancing their little hearts out singing like the kid who didn't know the words in church just lip sinking and whispering what they thought the words were. I needed a beer by this point so I walked up to get one. I'm standing at the beer booth with Lee Ann and this what might have been a lady came out of the back and I just told her I wanted the biggest thing they had, and she'll looking at me like an idiot along with everyone else saying "I don't understand" I was just thinking maybe they had a half gallon container I could buy to take the edge off but no... well anyway I get this plastic cup of beer and I see it... Five o'clock shadow, I look at Lee Ann and she looks at me and I mean we're just giggle boxing it up.

we walk back to this "sword fight" comedy show, and they are kind of ripping off the three stooges, then they go in this whole act of pulling guys out of the stands and teaching them how to win a women's heart and when they got to the part of how to stand properly I could hear my buddy cracking up across the audience because they we're teaching the guys to stand the same way I stand normally with my hands on my hips and my chest out, so that was that.

Lee Ann and myself were walking along and I see this little girl crying in the grass by herself looking around and I stop and look at Lee Ann and say "you recon that little girls lost" and she walks over to her and ask her where her mommy was and she ended up being lost, so I'm standing behind her and the little girl kind of looking around for some frantic parents, there is this big guy in costume standing there and a few minutes into the ordeal he says he's going to go radio someone to come help so he leaves Lee Ann and myself with the little girl and Lee Ann is trying to figure out somethings about the little girl like her name and her moms name and stuff like that, then here comes the big guy back, he looks at us and says "yea... we've got a lost and found up front we'll that her too" and I'm thinking did I just here lost and found come out of this guys mouth. Then the "security" walks up three dudes and they bend down and get in the little girls face speaking all official, and I can only assume what's going though her head the whole time probable scared shitless if I had to guess. Then I heard this lady bellowing across the yard "Kimberly?!?! Kimberly!?!?" and I'm guessing it was her family. Not gonna lie I kind of understood why she got lost after that, and then I wondered maybe she meant to get lost...

We keep walking around the park and we ended up seeing the best mullet in central Ohio wearing a t-shirt that said "Ride it hard and put it up wet" classyness... then there was Robin Williams, the dude in the show looked just like Robin Williams, sounded just like Robin Williams, and even acted just like Robin Williams. It was a tad odd to say the least. then there was the reappearing butt crack, I kept tapping my buddy's girl friends arm every time it appeared and I was point at it. Then we saw this guy that looked like Marshall Applewhite from that haven's gate cult thing, and he starts making a sandwich as part of his show and I start yelling don't eat it because it's probable like the koolade... Lee Ann and myself go to get a couple beers and this old woman looks at me and says "that's an awful nice shirt to wear to a place like this, look you've already got a stain on your tit, you should go buy one of those leather braziers that push those tits up" and I'm thinking "damn lady I'm not sure what's happening here I really just wanted a beer, and I get a cheap shot at my man tits"...

We make our way over to the Jousting tournament, not gonna lie that was down right cool. the dude announcing the tournament starts talking like Conan because it's barbarian day, and we watch the guys get put in the armor and the one jousting for our side of the arena ask for a random bottle of stranger water lying on the ground and took a big drink out of it, and that really just kind of weirded me out, and then I kept saying "damn I could really go for some stranger water". It was a lot of fun the watch the dudes hit each other though, I bet their really sore after every match.

On the way out I see this guy carrying a sheep, and he was wearing a robe with leather sex toys strapped to him which really weirded me out a little more, and then I had this though, I wonder how many of those people were sex offenders. The more I thought about it that was no place for anyone under 18.

So we roll back south to my buddy's house and hang around for a few minutes, then Lee Ann and myself roll out and I'm thinking "lets go to union terminal I bet she'll really enjoy that" so we go back across the river and I get turned around for a few minutes down some of these little shitty alleys and when I finely do get back on track I get behind this big rig and this white car pulls up behind it and the stops at about the front of my truck and rolls his window down and starts looking back at us with the same face as David Chappelle as Tyrone Biggums, and the dudes are waving at us trying to get us to follow them up this alley. I'm thinking the whole minute and a half "fuck me I try to do something cool and the one time I try I'm gonna get shot in the face by Tyrone Biggums... Fucking sweet". So they turn up the alley with their arms out the window motioning us and I go so straight of course, and I was really just waiting for them to come back and try something and then I would have to get my breaker bar from under my seat and pretend to be bat shit crazy so they would leave. Thank god they kept going.

We finely park and I could really see her eye light up. It really made me feel nice to see someone thank as much of that place as I did. we took us a little stroll around the fountain, and I'm not going to lie I really wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her tight I could tell she was cold but I don't think it was right for that just yet. So we got back in the truck and started rolling south as I was looking for Tyrone Biggums. we chatted it up the whole way back to her place, talking about food, and life, up to the point where I was almost too tired to speak any more, I dropped her off and told her how nice it was to have met her, and she stood outside and watch me drive away as she was waving from the garage, Not gonna lie I really enjoyed that. 

As I drove back to my home I kept thinking about Lee Ann took care of that little lost girl and I loved it, even right now I still can't seem to get it out of my mind, such a good women to take care of that little girl like that. Its not often I get the butterfly's these days but I have to admit I might be a little smitten with this girl and it feels good to feel something like that again...

Comments On: Myth Of the Alpha Male Podcast

I made the mistake of listing to people drilling the "Alpha Male" life style and it's true it is just an excuse to be an ass. I started my little journey many years ago as a kid from the country that was basically modern Amish, the real world didn't exist to me, I never had a problem in my young life. I was taking college courses when I was 16 I was nice to everyone and I was very quite, and for some reason I was under the impression if I said the world sucks or anything worse I was going straight to hell. When I was 19 I met a girl who gave me attention and we ended up getting married when I was 20. I found out quickly it wasn't for me by 21 and was divorced by 22. I was lost I had no real personality because I had missed the opportunity to find myself when I was younger. I ended up playing a major game of what I thought was catch up, I ended up watching all this pick up stuff, and all I wanted was women and lots of them. This is when I wondered into the Alpha Male women love ass holes mind set.

I do believe some women love ass holes but then again other women love nice guys, and another subset love something else, I personally know a girl who's in to Amish men... As long as you true to what you are someones going to be attracted, I've saw lots of weirdo's that have all kinds of luck just because they don't have the need to change themselves. I went though and am still in my ass stage, I read all the material I could get my hands on about what women liked and that lead into me trying to change myself. I didn't feel good enough for anyone, of course I was still recovering from a divorce that I was terribly embarrassed \ ashamed of. I started out as the nice guy right after I separated from my wife, and later that year as I was saving up the money for my divorce I got scammed by a friend Dick for 1400 hundred bucks (lots of cash for a guy like me) that I was going to use for my divorce money. I grew a little bitter with the world during this period.
For a time I felt that everyone was judging me about my divorce and everyone just waned to take me for everything I was worth. My mind set had went from good ol boy to fuck them before they fuck me. I turned into the biggest jerk in the building where I worked. People started to avoid me out of fear of what mean thing I might say to them.

It's 6 years later now and I'm still working my way out of that Alpha Male ass stuff. I've always been kind of an intimidating guy I assume, very serious, never really ever shy but I was always quite (I am and always have been a listener), great sense of serious humor, I've always had an ego bigger than life. The main thing I've had trouble with is reputation, once it's changed into what it is it's extra hard to change it to what it really should be.

I guess my words of wisdom is don't give in to the bullshit, just be you, self improvement is one thing, changing for the sake of change is another... Good Luck...



Listen To The Podcast:

Here: http://theartofcharmpodcast.com/2014/09/10/james-fell-cutting-alpha-male-bs-episode-312/

NKY - The August 1st Edition

Thursday evening rolls around and I had been thinking three day weekend since the moment I woke up. Some coworkers and myself roll out to lunch and all I hear is "well I'm taking off Friday" "I'm taking off Friday" "me too". So it's official I'm not going to be the only ass hole working on a Friday, I make the game changing plan to take Friday off as well. The clock is running down because I'm a last minute kind of ass hole, 4:10pm and I get off in 20 minutes. As I'm about to stroll over to my boss's office here comes one of our local ass fucks to take up valuable time. So I'm about to panic, there is no damn way I'm working Friday. I'm panicking, do I email in the ol sick day tomorrow or do I just send an email right now to take care of it. Email it is... so I'm all like "boss, I really need to take tomorrow off... ect" and I'm packing my stuff about to get on the elevator when I here the ass fuck of a visitor starting to stir a little. So I have a choice the elevator is coming do I climb on and pretend like I didn't hear the door open or do I peak my head in and ask for an early weekend. 4:32pm I make the safe call as the elevator door shuts and peak my head in and say hey boss I need off tomorrow...

needless to say happy mother fucking early weekend ass fucks!!!

I roll home and pull the shitty blue tarp off my motorcycle fire it up and wait for the get-along-gang to show up. We take us a good ride over around the lake and stroll back to town at like midnight which is a real surprise because one of the dick's mother won't let him ride at night, all I can say to that is he's like 35, what the fuck dude... We go straight to sonic were we watch an exhibition in eating, and I get distracted by all the pretty legs, short shorts and girl with the juicy ass on roller skates. After my friends get their guts full I go home and eat a can of beans and Sriracha sauce (I've given up fast food FYI), then we watched a sweet ass 80's possibly late 70's move called time rider about this dude that when into the old west on a dirt bike. It's worth the watch just for the twist at the end, Trust Me.

Do you even know how liberating it is to wake up on your couch covered in sweat with out having to set an alarm on a Friday morning? well to say the least it's pretty damn liberating. We had just left our bikes out the night before because we were going to be getting right back on them when everyone woke up. we took the scenic route north to the Honda Shop where one buddy spent 3 hours picking out a silver helmet and the other one who "doesn't want women in his life" spent his time talking to women just enough to shoot me and our other buddy in the dick. We hop back on our bikes for another 150 miles of being lost in the knobs region of the Kentucky country side. We ride like wild men making our way back to the approved route to my favorite hotdog place in the world, where I gorge myself on chili cheese coney dogs and Ale 8's, and quickly wished I hadn't when I got back on my bike. At this point we part ways with dick shooter, and my other buddy and myself make our way toward home before I shit myself. We stopped for gas at the mid way point between hot dogs and home, I stroll into the gas station to see the most beautiful redhead I ever set eyes on, I wanted her number but I wasn't sure I could get it in my current condition of swollen colon... we make it back home and part ways for the night, I start packing like a wild man.

I have my bags packed, and thrown in my pickup truck and I start blazing a trail north Cincinnati bound. I find out one thing on the way north I can't eat Titty cakes (snowball) anymore... I get there at like midnight, my buddy is down at the bar drunker than ten Indians and calls me while I'm drinking a new castle on his front porch to come pick him up. So I'm like "sure one beer why not" I roll in to the bar and he's a mess introduced me to some girl that neither of us knew and said that we should be lovers while her dude is staring me down and I was just kind of like "well if you're into that kind of thing" laughed and walked away. Then my drunken friend informs me that he has a great plan, lets go find his girl friend because she's parting with a bunch of other women, I was a little skeptic but I agreed to go on this wild goose chase anyway so it's really all my fault. We squeeze into my tiny truck and he's passing out yelling "Petersburg!!!" and I have no fucking idea where Petersburg is. He gives me one direction at a time and passes out for a few seconds and we repeat. We ended up at a train yard, an extremely dark apartment complex on a hill, petersburg road next to the airport, blew through a road closed sign, the creation museum, Indiana, and downtown cincy... At one point he's on his phone and I'm not aware of this, all I hear is "Hey!!!" then whispers "you want to fool around tonight" and I'm like "what the fuck dude, I mean for god sake where next to the creation museum!!!" not that it makes a difference just saying... At this point we left the bar at midnight and it's approaching 4am. I made the choice to pull the plug on the quest for the golden goose so we rolled home... on a side note at one point I farted and he almost got sick yelling "ROLL THE WINDOW DOWN, ROLL THE WINDOW DOWN!!!" and I was all like "I CAN'T DUDE IT'S CRANK YOU GOTTA DO IT" so there was that... to say the least it was a weird night...

Dream One:

I laid down to sleep and spent a couple hours on some shitty dating websites and then I drifted off to sleep to dream about my buddy committing industrial espionage and he got caught, I was with him to clean out his office. The police ended up escorting him out and I knew the cop some how because he was talking about something me and him had did. I hopped on my motorcycle in the dream and ended up getting held back by a police road block. Some how I ended up in Key West, it was starting to come a storm and all my buddies were there on the beach next to a building hanging out. I looked to the south at the very end of the beach and through the storm clouds I could see the most beautiful sun set, I had this powerful urge to go toward it. my buddies and other people where yelling at me to come back but I couldn't I had my camera walking towards it I passed through some empty event tents as the storm continued to get worse waves were crashing up over the end of the beach. I passed through one more event tent where there was a cute kind of pail blacked haired girl, we smiled at each other and she didn't try to stop me as I continued on my way. I was in the process of taking a picture when a wave over took me, I fell to the ground and looked up as another bigger wave crashed in and washed me out to sea and I was drowning. As I took my last breath I woke up...

I rolled out of bed at about 8am after feeling weird from that dream for a bit, took the coldest shower of my life because my buddies hot water heater wasn't working, and walked down stairs to wait on our ride to etown for a photo shoot with his new born son.

We got back home late in the evening and started pounding the drinks playing catch up. We all but sprinted down the back alleys to get to the bar. rolled in like VIPs because we were. We met up with a weird group of girls that we know, I stole a cigarette from the old one (I don't smoke) and I made one of the young ones light it. this is the part of the night were I become sophisticated 70's bad ass drunk, I have a cigarette hanging out of my mouth marching through the crowds to find empty space then I stand up strait and grasp the cigarette between my thumb and middle finger and make a lot of hand jesters and think about the night air blowing through my hair and look over the rail into the river and think about stuff, it doesn't last long... The next phase is drunken drool baby, that point in the night where your body wants you to throw up because your system doesn't think it can handle any more (but it can), I have a pool of spit in my mouth and I walk back to the rail to spit it into the river and this dude is staring me down like "you good dude" I reply with a fist pound and a "fuck yea dude". Next comes breaking the seal, I kept going back and fourth to the men's room and the line kept getting longer and longer, The Men's Room... what the fuck... well after the seconds trip I leave the bar walk to the top of the hill and turn around and face the bar and take a majestic piss for the world to see, it felt like something out of the damn lion king. next comes the Hey Girl! phase I don't care who or what I'm talking to but I'm going to talk to something, and someone usually gets offended, this night was no different. I walk up to one of the weird girls I kind of don't know and there was a half of an empty stool behind her ass, well in my drunkenness I miss judged the shape and size of my ass and pushed her the rest of the way off the stool, she wasn't happy... but I was... The next phase was a new one for me it's called the free refill, I was making my way around the bar and I had a wet burp of nothing but rum and it went back in my cup, I drank it... it's not like it was chunky or something. The last bar phase is called Last Call, by this time my buddy's ol lady was there to pick us up... you find anyone with out a dude on her arm and see what happens, that kind of threw out the older lady in the beautiful blue dress... I staggered up to this attractive dark complected girl wearing yellow pants, I'm sure it didn't go this way in real life but the way I remember it I walked up leaned up against the rail real suave like, ask her if she was having a good night, I put my hand next to her face, caress it, and gave her a sweat little kiss on the cheek all after throwing up in my cup... then one of her ugly friends rips her away and they make a break for a waiting taxi, and I'm cursing every breath... 

now for the bonus phase "well it's over... or is it???" We go to the market next to my buddy's house and I see this older women with a big tattoo on her chest I ask to see it and she lets me and I start poking at it, and calling her Ruby because she has a big Ruby right above her tits. she says kind of white trash like "my name ain't Ruby, ass." and I yell "well tell your Ruby that, Ruby HA HA HA" then my buddy picks up a pack of bologna tosses it at me and I pick up biscuits and a Colt 45. I walk up front and check out with "Ruby" and we roll out. I get home and take one drink out of my Colt 45 and pass out...

Dream 2

After I passed out I dreamed that me and buddy lived in the Sanford and son house, and there was these two hot girls that came over one was a petite and the other was a very cute blond, I picked the little one up and sit her on the porch rail, I smiled at her and she smiled back at me with the warmest smile I've ever felt, I then started making out with her, then I pick her up and start walking away with her in my arms, the other girl comes with us and she pulls her shirt up for me to fill her tits and she looks at me and says the small girl is pregnant and that no one has did anything with her since she found out, I start finger banging her while we're walking. After that I end up back at the house with my buddy and my family is on the porch and this petite Asian girl I met last week is coming down the street with some people and my dad goes crazy and my grand mother starts yelling look at all the Indians, while I'm trying to quite her down. Then a hot older neighbor lets her dogs out while I'm sitting with my buddy's dog and the dogs start fighting and I break them up. a German Shepard is running loose with a chain dragging behind it and it knocks over a grill and some how lights a fire. I run around like crazy putting the fire out. when I finely I get the fire put out, I walk back to the house and there are a bunch of dudes from IT and my buddy's community sitting on the porch and then I walk in the house, sit down on the couch and that's the point I wake up. Odd stuff yet again... And I'm about 100% sure I finger banged my buddy's dog's jaws... Just saying... Also made me need a lady friend in the worst way, the dream not dog jaws...

So my buddy and myself cat nap like half the day until I discover the bologna and biscuits, I'm pretty sure my pee pee sneezed a little when I found them. needless to say we ate like kings... He comes walking back through the house saying "there are three signs that we had a good night" I ask "what are they" he holds up a can of Colt 45 with one drink taken out of it, a 95% eaten tub of spinach artichoke dip with a pork skin sticking out of it and 14 glasses between the two of us...

It was a great three day weekend...

Reply: What’s the Matter With Eastern Kentucky?

What’s the Matter With Eastern Kentucky? Whats the Matter With You? Frankly I don't see a thing wrong with Eastern Kentucky, unless you're speaking of the druggie problem... 

Sure, parts are a little remote and inaccessible, but does that mean it's a problem? Maybe we enjoy our rolling factory free hills, maybe we don't need to make $150,000.00 a year to be happy or have a better life, maybe we don't need a formal education to have a love for a simple life. Maybe us Kentuckians can see a little something besides bank accounts and social status. 

Maybe us Kentuckians are satisfied with a farm pond full of bass, a whippoorwill calling to it's mate somewhere down a holler (you do know what a holler is don't you?), a rocks glass with fine Kentucky bourbon kissing your lips, or maybe just laying in a hammock petting our dog... It doesn't have to be down town before it's a good place to live.

Personally I'm poor as the day is long, but I can go to sleep at night with a stress/guilt free mind. When will people learn it's not always about the amount of cash in a persons pocket, it's more about the person the pocket belongs to. As Abraham Lincoln once said "in the end it is not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years." (might I add is a fellow Kentuckian). 

As A Kentuckian I could come to your home town and say "well, these people live in a bunch of bricks and mortar, don't have time for a sun rise, the air smells of automobile emissions, and the poor souls have never eaten a home grown ear of corn. What a miserable existence they must live... Maybe if we gave them a few thousand bushels it might give them the kick start to live better..." But I don't, because we believe in letter our neighbors be, unless they started it.

Don't you worry about Kentucky, let Kentucky worry about Kentucky...

Kentucky For Kentucky

Here is the original article:

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/29/magazine/whats-the-matter-with-eastern-kentucky.html?emc=eta1&_r=1

"Quirky", And It's Use As A Word

"Quirky --Unconventional, surprising, odd. A word often used by narcissistic scenesters when they describe their oh-so-unique selves in their LiveJournal user info pages in attempts to sound like interesting people."

 (Source: Urban Dictionary)

If there is a word that I hate more than "quirky" I haven't heard it yet... Every women I've met since birth describes herself as "unique and quirky". I've got news for you... you're neither of those words. you're not weird in a good way, you're not one of a kind out of 6-7 billion, you're just like every other girl that thought of a word with a damn Q in it, and thought you would use it to sound fun/interesting. I cringe every time I hear a girl use it, I'm also cringing my way though this blog post about it...

I'm going out with the next girl that's never used the word "quirky", hopefully she can't even pronounce her Q's, I'm sure she for a fact might be indeed... "Quirky". It's pretty obvious to me that none of us are really that "quirky", philosophy and psychology wouldn't even be topics if we were.

A personality disorder is not "quirky", it's a fact of life you have to deal with. A girl that plays video games is not "quirky", she just indulges in a waste of time. A girl who knits is not "quirky", she has a hobby. A girl who has a fake dick in her purse is not "quirky", she's a... well maybe it works here...

Accepted Uses Of The Word "Quirky":
If you carry a fake cock around in your purse, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you eat a live cockroach off of your floor, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you've ever said "Well I'm just a quirky little cunt booger aren't I?", you might be a "quirky" girl
If you've eaten cheese wiz in the shower, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you've ever drank a beer in a volcano, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you're missing a limb/eye, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you're dog chewed your toe off, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you have stitch scars, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you've ever ate a fresh yak's eye, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you've ever been in a side show, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you have a tattoo of a puddin pop, you might be a "quirky" girl
If Bill Cosby visits you in your sleep, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you found waldo on your underpants, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you started your own cult, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you stick fight behind the dumpster, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you've ever eaten a whole turkey leg in one bite, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you've ever fought off a homeless man, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you've ever made love to Bear Grylls in the woods, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you've ever cut your nipple off on a fan blade, you might be a "quirky" girl
If all your piercings are connected to all your other piercings, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you've bit the ear off a rabid coyote, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you've ever got snake bit while taking a piss, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you've ever driven a cocaine fueled funny car, you might be a "quirky" girl
If you've ever given Gary Busey a lap dance/titty twister, you might be a "quirky" girl

ETC...

If you're not truly "quirky" then don't use the damn word...