This is an open letter to myself past, present, and future.
Dear Dude,
It's all irrelevant. I'm not saying this in a negative way, I'm not saying this in a positive way, it's a neutral statement. There aren't such things as failure or success, again irrelevant. The only facts of life occur in the present moment, enjoy this moment, thrive in this moment, take this moment because it's yours to take. Enjoy the small parts of life, their limited. Seek out the catchy little songs, seek out the nights filled with buddies, beer, and brats, seek out life. Breath in the high points, reflect briefly on the low points.
Don't stress anything, It's all irrelevant. Everything you experience is a particular kind of bodily chemical rush, there are no good happenings or bad occurrences, there are just events neither good nor bad. Experience them for what they are. When things appear bad just hold up your head and do your thing, when things look good just hold up your head and do your thing.
Don't over complicate. Sometimes people put too much into nothing, keep it basic, keep it simple, and you'll never go wrong. Don't try to escape your consciousness, observe it, why do you feel the way you do? Why do you think about this and not some other thought? Enjoy the moment and you'll never be unhappy.
Always remember in a million years no one will ever know you existed, so why worry about what anyone things in the moment, enjoy yourself and your moment.
Most importantly, love your dog.
Sincerely,
Largo
Wednesday
Learning, Work, and Life
I'm in an online class right now that I have no interest in what so ever, it's for a generic degree just so I can have a piece of paper with some writing on it that says I wasted half of my life so far just trying to receive. Not going to lie, if I wouldn't have had a full scholarship for the first half and let work pay for the second half I would have been pretty disappointed in myself. Looking back I wish I would have did something I enjoyed rather than listening to everyone around me talk about how I need a degree in what "pays good". I've always heard if you enjoy what you do you'll never work a day in your life, and I believe it to be true. This online class that I'm in is just something I have to have to finish a 12 year degree in nothing. The only reason for this class is to get "unmotivated" students ready for the work place. Personally to be motivated I have to have something to be motivated towards. If I'm interested in something I can work 18 hours non-stop although not healthy, it tells me something, I'm not a lazy guy. I'll work my little heart out for something I'm interested in. If I'm not interested it's lucky if I'll spend 15 minutes. That said, I can't stand this online class, it goes against everything I believe...
There are three types of learners in this world: Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic. I'm a little touch of all three, but it depends on the circumstance. I think it's funny how an institution of higher education can ignore the very thing they teach. online classes aren't for everyone, especially the ones that only use one form of media, being stacks on top of stacks of paper with no real information. I don't learn this way, give me a video, let me sit down and chat with someone about the subject, let me watch someone work with the subject, don't hand me a stack of papers and say learn.
I wake up every morning and think to myself "there's really nothing that appeals to me about my current life style" I'm up at the ass crack of dawn getting ready for a job that I really have no interest in going too. I really wouldn't mind getting up early if it was something I was interested in getting up for, I mean I'll roll out at 4am just to drive around and take pictures of the moon or something. I think there is a little more to life than sitting at a desk all day, day dreaming about the things you would rather be doing. I don't want to be a bum, and live off the government, I just simply want to do something I enjoy. There is no other animal on the planet that would willing do something it has no interest in doing and keep doing it, so why do humans?
I hear people talking everyday about how they put their dead end job above anything in their personal life, and it makes me so sick. To me work at the moment is something I do to finance the things I actually want to do. I'm really not even sure who I'm trying to convince by even writing this, maybe it's for myself, maybe it's a way to talk myself into becoming something I would like to be. I rally just want to live life on my own terms, I don't want to answer to anyone, not that I really answer to anyone now but I have to give into demands for my time more than I would like.
Our time is the most valuable resource we have and we willing we trade it for something as useless as cash. Cash is fruitless endeavor, cash is everywhere, time on the other hand is priceless, when time is gone time is gone forever, you're done, you're finished...
There are three types of learners in this world: Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic. I'm a little touch of all three, but it depends on the circumstance. I think it's funny how an institution of higher education can ignore the very thing they teach. online classes aren't for everyone, especially the ones that only use one form of media, being stacks on top of stacks of paper with no real information. I don't learn this way, give me a video, let me sit down and chat with someone about the subject, let me watch someone work with the subject, don't hand me a stack of papers and say learn.
I wake up every morning and think to myself "there's really nothing that appeals to me about my current life style" I'm up at the ass crack of dawn getting ready for a job that I really have no interest in going too. I really wouldn't mind getting up early if it was something I was interested in getting up for, I mean I'll roll out at 4am just to drive around and take pictures of the moon or something. I think there is a little more to life than sitting at a desk all day, day dreaming about the things you would rather be doing. I don't want to be a bum, and live off the government, I just simply want to do something I enjoy. There is no other animal on the planet that would willing do something it has no interest in doing and keep doing it, so why do humans?
I hear people talking everyday about how they put their dead end job above anything in their personal life, and it makes me so sick. To me work at the moment is something I do to finance the things I actually want to do. I'm really not even sure who I'm trying to convince by even writing this, maybe it's for myself, maybe it's a way to talk myself into becoming something I would like to be. I rally just want to live life on my own terms, I don't want to answer to anyone, not that I really answer to anyone now but I have to give into demands for my time more than I would like.
Our time is the most valuable resource we have and we willing we trade it for something as useless as cash. Cash is fruitless endeavor, cash is everywhere, time on the other hand is priceless, when time is gone time is gone forever, you're done, you're finished...
Friday
October Thus Far
So I took Lee Ann out again at the end of September, I ended up meeting with her in the middle and we went to this little Cajan place that had great food and a nice little atmosphere, for sure a place I'd go back too. We were driving back toward the theater, and she looks at me and says "you know what I like about you? the fact that you think the way you do." not gonna lie that kind of made me feel nice. We chit chatted all the way back to the movie theater, and once we got in there watching the previews I honestly felt like we were drunk the way we were going on laughing and giggling and stuff. In honor of the 30th anniversary of Ghost Busters they we're playing it there and that's what we watched, I was giddy to say the least. I personally can't wait until jaws comes back for the 40th anniversary, if it happens. So I'm sitting in the movie just really on the edge of my seat wanting to make a move, and I notice her moving around in her seat a little and I through my arm up and she give me an odd look so I put it back down, I wasn't sure if she didn't know what I was trying to do or it just weirder her out but I decided to pull back lol. I did end up holding her hand for a bit though, and I really enjoyed that. Fuck listen to me sounded like a damn 14 year old over here, what happen to me??? Then again it's kind of nice to feel something for a girl again, it's been way too long since I've had any of these feelings. It feels nice to roll in somewhere and not be able to figure out exactly how the nights going to end. I've been dealing with too many little college girls the last few years, I'm not use to a woman any more... So we roll out of the theater and I take her back to her car, I end up give her a nice tight hug and tell her to be careful on her way home and to text me when she got there. I drive home and as soon as I get there I get a text from her tell me she got caught in traffic, and we end up chatting it up half the night until I pass out.
Then there was Homecoming... now that was an experience. My dad ends up hanging out with us, he's really doesn't party, it's more like a mascot for our tailgate site because all the students know him from campus. We actually have a pretty damn good set up this year, a Coleman stove with hot chocolate on one side and taco soup on the other, and of course we spiked the hot chocolate with caramel vodka, it was a winner. The wind was blowing 80 miles an hour and it was like 30 degrees already but I wouldn't miss it for the world. We end up back at the house and getting ready for the "after party" taking our post tailgate poops and showers and all. Well we ended up driving out to one of the hotels in town and meeting up with a bunch of girls we use to know about 10 years ago, I had a different impression of them back then thought they were good girls, because I didn't know any better, when we roll in the room two of them are fucked out of the gourds after taking something I'd never heard of. I know nothing about that kind of stuff and I steer clear I'm a booze hound not a druggie, so we ended up leaving the room with one of the other girls who was a booze hound too, and we make the half a mile trek across intersections and traffic to the one bar this town has which happens to be something of a honkey-tonk, it's a little on the white trash side but I wouldn't change a thing. I see a ton of what are mostly girls that I use to know, we get our hugs and stuff out of the way and chat it up about how much nothing has changed in this town. well many shots and mixed drinks later me and my buddy roll out at 11:30, the bar closes at 12, yes 12... so we're gonna get back to the hotel and pick up our stuff and call a taxi. well I meet him in the car and the dude is passed out so I'm thinking let him sleep it off for a minute call a taxi and we'll finish up the night right.
12:30am - calling taxi, "hey can we get picked up at the days inn?"....... "sure, be right there"
1am - "where's that taxi?"
1:30am - "so about that taxi at 12:30... it never came" "oh I'm so sorry we'll be right here"
2am - "where the fuck is that taxi, dude turn the car on" "(no real language spoken)" car doesn't get started
3am - no taxi ever shows up. again... "dude start the car it's cold in here" "(no real language spoken)" but he does reach for the keys this time...
4am - "fuck dude, it's freezing in here why didn't you tell me to start the car?" " I did dude..."
4:05am - "where are my keys?"
4:05am - 4:50am - car is torn apart and people in the room have 50 voice mails
4:50am - Scooby Doo Mystery solving begins "dude, you had the keys, you were sitting in the car when I got here, then you had to reach over and unlock my door, and I had to unlock the one in the back, and no one just leaves one door unlocked in this time of electrical locks and such..." then I said "dude, your wallet was in the floor board, your phone was in the floor board, I bet your keys are there too... look harder!"
4:52am - Keys are located way up under the seat under Mc Donalds fries from two years ago...
5am - teeth chattering stops and we roll back to my place and I'm down for the count.
Not the most eventful homecoming but one for the books non-the-less. But October has been pretty fun so far, now I need to think of a Halloween costume, If Lee Ann and myself do something I'd really like to do Fred and Wilma Flintstone, because I'm built like Fred and she has a little touch of Wilma in her, but time will tell.
Then there was Homecoming... now that was an experience. My dad ends up hanging out with us, he's really doesn't party, it's more like a mascot for our tailgate site because all the students know him from campus. We actually have a pretty damn good set up this year, a Coleman stove with hot chocolate on one side and taco soup on the other, and of course we spiked the hot chocolate with caramel vodka, it was a winner. The wind was blowing 80 miles an hour and it was like 30 degrees already but I wouldn't miss it for the world. We end up back at the house and getting ready for the "after party" taking our post tailgate poops and showers and all. Well we ended up driving out to one of the hotels in town and meeting up with a bunch of girls we use to know about 10 years ago, I had a different impression of them back then thought they were good girls, because I didn't know any better, when we roll in the room two of them are fucked out of the gourds after taking something I'd never heard of. I know nothing about that kind of stuff and I steer clear I'm a booze hound not a druggie, so we ended up leaving the room with one of the other girls who was a booze hound too, and we make the half a mile trek across intersections and traffic to the one bar this town has which happens to be something of a honkey-tonk, it's a little on the white trash side but I wouldn't change a thing. I see a ton of what are mostly girls that I use to know, we get our hugs and stuff out of the way and chat it up about how much nothing has changed in this town. well many shots and mixed drinks later me and my buddy roll out at 11:30, the bar closes at 12, yes 12... so we're gonna get back to the hotel and pick up our stuff and call a taxi. well I meet him in the car and the dude is passed out so I'm thinking let him sleep it off for a minute call a taxi and we'll finish up the night right.
12:30am - calling taxi, "hey can we get picked up at the days inn?"....... "sure, be right there"
1am - "where's that taxi?"
1:30am - "so about that taxi at 12:30... it never came" "oh I'm so sorry we'll be right here"
2am - "where the fuck is that taxi, dude turn the car on" "(no real language spoken)" car doesn't get started
3am - no taxi ever shows up. again... "dude start the car it's cold in here" "(no real language spoken)" but he does reach for the keys this time...
4am - "fuck dude, it's freezing in here why didn't you tell me to start the car?" " I did dude..."
4:05am - "where are my keys?"
4:05am - 4:50am - car is torn apart and people in the room have 50 voice mails
4:50am - Scooby Doo Mystery solving begins "dude, you had the keys, you were sitting in the car when I got here, then you had to reach over and unlock my door, and I had to unlock the one in the back, and no one just leaves one door unlocked in this time of electrical locks and such..." then I said "dude, your wallet was in the floor board, your phone was in the floor board, I bet your keys are there too... look harder!"
4:52am - Keys are located way up under the seat under Mc Donalds fries from two years ago...
5am - teeth chattering stops and we roll back to my place and I'm down for the count.
Not the most eventful homecoming but one for the books non-the-less. But October has been pretty fun so far, now I need to think of a Halloween costume, If Lee Ann and myself do something I'd really like to do Fred and Wilma Flintstone, because I'm built like Fred and she has a little touch of Wilma in her, but time will tell.
Monday
Lee Ann
not gonna lie I'm running pretty ragged today. This past weekend didn't stop. I ended up hitting up the movies on Friday night with my buddy, it was the new Liam Neeson. The movie wasn't really what I expected but I'm really glad it wasn't, it's worth the watch if you ask me, it's a thinker with a lot less action, and that's all I'm going to say. We ended up going back to my house and talking about women with our other buddy long into the night sitting on my back porch.
Morning comes pretty early for me. I've got a motorcycle ride coming up at noon but I couldn't sleep past 9am even thought I'm tired as can be. I run a few errands, and I end up getting the most pitiful phone call a few minutes after I roll out "dude??? are you still gonna go with us today???" (guy is almost in tears), and I respond with a "yep, just doing a few things first". So we end up going on our 200 mile horse farm ride which is one of my favorites. so we're out for like 5 hours. As soon as I roll back home my dad is waiting for me in the drive way to go to a hillbilly concert which I'm already way too warn out to think about but I ended up going anyway. I learned on thing about myself that night I've really gotten away from my white trash roots. drunk rednecks grinding on each other as far as the eye could see, and I was a sober as the pope. a brewski would have helped tremendously, but my grandmother was there and I'm not really one to drink in front of my family. So after we leave that cluster fuck I get home and crawl into my couch at 2am and asleep by 4am.
7am rolls around and I crawl back off my couch get a shower and clean my truck out. I'm on the road by 8:30am rolling down the interstate to pick up my friend Lee Ann, a lovely little blue eyed red head with a similar disposition as me in life. I drove to her house to pick her up for the renaissance fair. So I've got my phone out trying to find her house texting and doing that whole number and she peeks her head out of her house and runs and jumps in my truck, she's wearing this pretty blue dress with a gray cardigan (such a pretty girl). FYI this is my first time meeting Lee Ann we met on Match sometime back and we've been texting it up, I've only met a hand full of girls from online dating, it's really not my thing, but when some of the conversations I've had with her I really wanted to meet her.
So as I drive north I'm getting to know Lee Ann in person and I have to admit she's a real hoot. we're chatting it up about my weird little life and our dispositions about working our lives away and travel. Just really good conversation, the kind you can't have with a college freshman these days. I have to admit it was sooooo refreshing. It takes us a good hour to drive north and we almost get killed twice, some crazy ass was driving on our side on one of the back roads we were on, and again when I was merging on to the interstate I saw a plan landing and my dumb ass is all like "the plane, the plane" and a simi comes barreling past us. I shit myself and started laughing like an idiot.
We get to my buddies house and apparently they didn't even know I was coming they just happen to pull in the same time I did, and we all just pile in the car and head north again for another hour or so.
I've never been to a renaissance fair before this one. So I'm a giddy little giggle box because I'm all excited and stuff. As soon as we walked though the gate there was small girl in elf ears trying to see us a rock\candle (not the kind of thing that I can't live with out) and Lee Ann and myself are just trying to simply trying to turn her down nicely, well the girl looks at us and says in an angry voice "If you would stop and look at something you might enjoy it" and I'm standing there thinking did I just hear her correctly??? Shocked to say the least, but we keep walking. I feel like all four of us have a little bit of a culture shock going on because we're not use to this folks. We're all walking slowly up this hill kind of taking everything in and I see these tombstones on the left and I say out loud "kind of reminds me of pirates of the Caribbean" and about this time this calypso looking girl walks by and starts giggling all weird like, even though it wasn't about her I let her have it anyway.
My buddy's girlfriend buys this turkey leg and it smells just like baked ham, so I start yelling ham hock like an idiot. I kept looking at some of the smaller venders and I keep thinking how shady they are, like the corn dog girl all laid out on her booth hiking her leg up, I'm thinking nothing personal I just don't really want a corn dog from this lady, and another thing she had coolers not a deep fryer, so it's pre-made corn dogs, no thanks... Also they had some weird names for some of their food like the Italian Stallion, I mean is this something you have to go behind the food shack to finish receiving??? although I did buy one, I had cheese added to mine and I was thinking "Oh yea their gonna lay a slice of cheese on here let it melt in real nice" Nope... they took the nacho cheese out of the gallon and poured it directly onto my Stallion. So I'm eating with Lee Ann talking to this other couple sitting in the shade with us with cheese sauce all over my hands, in my beard, even all over my nose, I had one napkin and I had a system I was gonna make my mess and then clean up, but needless to say I looked like an 8 year old who couldn't quite find his mouth. Oh and the boy band, there was this little group of pre-teens at the food venders singing Africa by Toto and I'm thinking how do they even know that song??? but it was so weird because they were dancing their little hearts out singing like the kid who didn't know the words in church just lip sinking and whispering what they thought the words were. I needed a beer by this point so I walked up to get one. I'm standing at the beer booth with Lee Ann and this what might have been a lady came out of the back and I just told her I wanted the biggest thing they had, and she'll looking at me like an idiot along with everyone else saying "I don't understand" I was just thinking maybe they had a half gallon container I could buy to take the edge off but no... well anyway I get this plastic cup of beer and I see it... Five o'clock shadow, I look at Lee Ann and she looks at me and I mean we're just giggle boxing it up.
we walk back to this "sword fight" comedy show, and they are kind of ripping off the three stooges, then they go in this whole act of pulling guys out of the stands and teaching them how to win a women's heart and when they got to the part of how to stand properly I could hear my buddy cracking up across the audience because they we're teaching the guys to stand the same way I stand normally with my hands on my hips and my chest out, so that was that.
Lee Ann and myself were walking along and I see this little girl crying in the grass by herself looking around and I stop and look at Lee Ann and say "you recon that little girls lost" and she walks over to her and ask her where her mommy was and she ended up being lost, so I'm standing behind her and the little girl kind of looking around for some frantic parents, there is this big guy in costume standing there and a few minutes into the ordeal he says he's going to go radio someone to come help so he leaves Lee Ann and myself with the little girl and Lee Ann is trying to figure out somethings about the little girl like her name and her moms name and stuff like that, then here comes the big guy back, he looks at us and says "yea... we've got a lost and found up front we'll that her too" and I'm thinking did I just here lost and found come out of this guys mouth. Then the "security" walks up three dudes and they bend down and get in the little girls face speaking all official, and I can only assume what's going though her head the whole time probable scared shitless if I had to guess. Then I heard this lady bellowing across the yard "Kimberly?!?! Kimberly!?!?" and I'm guessing it was her family. Not gonna lie I kind of understood why she got lost after that, and then I wondered maybe she meant to get lost...
We keep walking around the park and we ended up seeing the best mullet in central Ohio wearing a t-shirt that said "Ride it hard and put it up wet" classyness... then there was Robin Williams, the dude in the show looked just like Robin Williams, sounded just like Robin Williams, and even acted just like Robin Williams. It was a tad odd to say the least. then there was the reappearing butt crack, I kept tapping my buddy's girl friends arm every time it appeared and I was point at it. Then we saw this guy that looked like Marshall Applewhite from that haven's gate cult thing, and he starts making a sandwich as part of his show and I start yelling don't eat it because it's probable like the koolade... Lee Ann and myself go to get a couple beers and this old woman looks at me and says "that's an awful nice shirt to wear to a place like this, look you've already got a stain on your tit, you should go buy one of those leather braziers that push those tits up" and I'm thinking "damn lady I'm not sure what's happening here I really just wanted a beer, and I get a cheap shot at my man tits"...
We make our way over to the Jousting tournament, not gonna lie that was down right cool. the dude announcing the tournament starts talking like Conan because it's barbarian day, and we watch the guys get put in the armor and the one jousting for our side of the arena ask for a random bottle of stranger water lying on the ground and took a big drink out of it, and that really just kind of weirded me out, and then I kept saying "damn I could really go for some stranger water". It was a lot of fun the watch the dudes hit each other though, I bet their really sore after every match.
On the way out I see this guy carrying a sheep, and he was wearing a robe with leather sex toys strapped to him which really weirded me out a little more, and then I had this though, I wonder how many of those people were sex offenders. The more I thought about it that was no place for anyone under 18.
So we roll back south to my buddy's house and hang around for a few minutes, then Lee Ann and myself roll out and I'm thinking "lets go to union terminal I bet she'll really enjoy that" so we go back across the river and I get turned around for a few minutes down some of these little shitty alleys and when I finely do get back on track I get behind this big rig and this white car pulls up behind it and the stops at about the front of my truck and rolls his window down and starts looking back at us with the same face as David Chappelle as Tyrone Biggums, and the dudes are waving at us trying to get us to follow them up this alley. I'm thinking the whole minute and a half "fuck me I try to do something cool and the one time I try I'm gonna get shot in the face by Tyrone Biggums... Fucking sweet". So they turn up the alley with their arms out the window motioning us and I go so straight of course, and I was really just waiting for them to come back and try something and then I would have to get my breaker bar from under my seat and pretend to be bat shit crazy so they would leave. Thank god they kept going.
We finely park and I could really see her eye light up. It really made me feel nice to see someone thank as much of that place as I did. we took us a little stroll around the fountain, and I'm not going to lie I really wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her tight I could tell she was cold but I don't think it was right for that just yet. So we got back in the truck and started rolling south as I was looking for Tyrone Biggums. we chatted it up the whole way back to her place, talking about food, and life, up to the point where I was almost too tired to speak any more, I dropped her off and told her how nice it was to have met her, and she stood outside and watch me drive away as she was waving from the garage, Not gonna lie I really enjoyed that.
As I drove back to my home I kept thinking about Lee Ann took care of that little lost girl and I loved it, even right now I still can't seem to get it out of my mind, such a good women to take care of that little girl like that. Its not often I get the butterfly's these days but I have to admit I might be a little smitten with this girl and it feels good to feel something like that again...
Morning comes pretty early for me. I've got a motorcycle ride coming up at noon but I couldn't sleep past 9am even thought I'm tired as can be. I run a few errands, and I end up getting the most pitiful phone call a few minutes after I roll out "dude??? are you still gonna go with us today???" (guy is almost in tears), and I respond with a "yep, just doing a few things first". So we end up going on our 200 mile horse farm ride which is one of my favorites. so we're out for like 5 hours. As soon as I roll back home my dad is waiting for me in the drive way to go to a hillbilly concert which I'm already way too warn out to think about but I ended up going anyway. I learned on thing about myself that night I've really gotten away from my white trash roots. drunk rednecks grinding on each other as far as the eye could see, and I was a sober as the pope. a brewski would have helped tremendously, but my grandmother was there and I'm not really one to drink in front of my family. So after we leave that cluster fuck I get home and crawl into my couch at 2am and asleep by 4am.
7am rolls around and I crawl back off my couch get a shower and clean my truck out. I'm on the road by 8:30am rolling down the interstate to pick up my friend Lee Ann, a lovely little blue eyed red head with a similar disposition as me in life. I drove to her house to pick her up for the renaissance fair. So I've got my phone out trying to find her house texting and doing that whole number and she peeks her head out of her house and runs and jumps in my truck, she's wearing this pretty blue dress with a gray cardigan (such a pretty girl). FYI this is my first time meeting Lee Ann we met on Match sometime back and we've been texting it up, I've only met a hand full of girls from online dating, it's really not my thing, but when some of the conversations I've had with her I really wanted to meet her.
So as I drive north I'm getting to know Lee Ann in person and I have to admit she's a real hoot. we're chatting it up about my weird little life and our dispositions about working our lives away and travel. Just really good conversation, the kind you can't have with a college freshman these days. I have to admit it was sooooo refreshing. It takes us a good hour to drive north and we almost get killed twice, some crazy ass was driving on our side on one of the back roads we were on, and again when I was merging on to the interstate I saw a plan landing and my dumb ass is all like "the plane, the plane" and a simi comes barreling past us. I shit myself and started laughing like an idiot.
We get to my buddies house and apparently they didn't even know I was coming they just happen to pull in the same time I did, and we all just pile in the car and head north again for another hour or so.
I've never been to a renaissance fair before this one. So I'm a giddy little giggle box because I'm all excited and stuff. As soon as we walked though the gate there was small girl in elf ears trying to see us a rock\candle (not the kind of thing that I can't live with out) and Lee Ann and myself are just trying to simply trying to turn her down nicely, well the girl looks at us and says in an angry voice "If you would stop and look at something you might enjoy it" and I'm standing there thinking did I just hear her correctly??? Shocked to say the least, but we keep walking. I feel like all four of us have a little bit of a culture shock going on because we're not use to this folks. We're all walking slowly up this hill kind of taking everything in and I see these tombstones on the left and I say out loud "kind of reminds me of pirates of the Caribbean" and about this time this calypso looking girl walks by and starts giggling all weird like, even though it wasn't about her I let her have it anyway.
My buddy's girlfriend buys this turkey leg and it smells just like baked ham, so I start yelling ham hock like an idiot. I kept looking at some of the smaller venders and I keep thinking how shady they are, like the corn dog girl all laid out on her booth hiking her leg up, I'm thinking nothing personal I just don't really want a corn dog from this lady, and another thing she had coolers not a deep fryer, so it's pre-made corn dogs, no thanks... Also they had some weird names for some of their food like the Italian Stallion, I mean is this something you have to go behind the food shack to finish receiving??? although I did buy one, I had cheese added to mine and I was thinking "Oh yea their gonna lay a slice of cheese on here let it melt in real nice" Nope... they took the nacho cheese out of the gallon and poured it directly onto my Stallion. So I'm eating with Lee Ann talking to this other couple sitting in the shade with us with cheese sauce all over my hands, in my beard, even all over my nose, I had one napkin and I had a system I was gonna make my mess and then clean up, but needless to say I looked like an 8 year old who couldn't quite find his mouth. Oh and the boy band, there was this little group of pre-teens at the food venders singing Africa by Toto and I'm thinking how do they even know that song??? but it was so weird because they were dancing their little hearts out singing like the kid who didn't know the words in church just lip sinking and whispering what they thought the words were. I needed a beer by this point so I walked up to get one. I'm standing at the beer booth with Lee Ann and this what might have been a lady came out of the back and I just told her I wanted the biggest thing they had, and she'll looking at me like an idiot along with everyone else saying "I don't understand" I was just thinking maybe they had a half gallon container I could buy to take the edge off but no... well anyway I get this plastic cup of beer and I see it... Five o'clock shadow, I look at Lee Ann and she looks at me and I mean we're just giggle boxing it up.
we walk back to this "sword fight" comedy show, and they are kind of ripping off the three stooges, then they go in this whole act of pulling guys out of the stands and teaching them how to win a women's heart and when they got to the part of how to stand properly I could hear my buddy cracking up across the audience because they we're teaching the guys to stand the same way I stand normally with my hands on my hips and my chest out, so that was that.
Lee Ann and myself were walking along and I see this little girl crying in the grass by herself looking around and I stop and look at Lee Ann and say "you recon that little girls lost" and she walks over to her and ask her where her mommy was and she ended up being lost, so I'm standing behind her and the little girl kind of looking around for some frantic parents, there is this big guy in costume standing there and a few minutes into the ordeal he says he's going to go radio someone to come help so he leaves Lee Ann and myself with the little girl and Lee Ann is trying to figure out somethings about the little girl like her name and her moms name and stuff like that, then here comes the big guy back, he looks at us and says "yea... we've got a lost and found up front we'll that her too" and I'm thinking did I just here lost and found come out of this guys mouth. Then the "security" walks up three dudes and they bend down and get in the little girls face speaking all official, and I can only assume what's going though her head the whole time probable scared shitless if I had to guess. Then I heard this lady bellowing across the yard "Kimberly?!?! Kimberly!?!?" and I'm guessing it was her family. Not gonna lie I kind of understood why she got lost after that, and then I wondered maybe she meant to get lost...
We keep walking around the park and we ended up seeing the best mullet in central Ohio wearing a t-shirt that said "Ride it hard and put it up wet" classyness... then there was Robin Williams, the dude in the show looked just like Robin Williams, sounded just like Robin Williams, and even acted just like Robin Williams. It was a tad odd to say the least. then there was the reappearing butt crack, I kept tapping my buddy's girl friends arm every time it appeared and I was point at it. Then we saw this guy that looked like Marshall Applewhite from that haven's gate cult thing, and he starts making a sandwich as part of his show and I start yelling don't eat it because it's probable like the koolade... Lee Ann and myself go to get a couple beers and this old woman looks at me and says "that's an awful nice shirt to wear to a place like this, look you've already got a stain on your tit, you should go buy one of those leather braziers that push those tits up" and I'm thinking "damn lady I'm not sure what's happening here I really just wanted a beer, and I get a cheap shot at my man tits"...
We make our way over to the Jousting tournament, not gonna lie that was down right cool. the dude announcing the tournament starts talking like Conan because it's barbarian day, and we watch the guys get put in the armor and the one jousting for our side of the arena ask for a random bottle of stranger water lying on the ground and took a big drink out of it, and that really just kind of weirded me out, and then I kept saying "damn I could really go for some stranger water". It was a lot of fun the watch the dudes hit each other though, I bet their really sore after every match.
On the way out I see this guy carrying a sheep, and he was wearing a robe with leather sex toys strapped to him which really weirded me out a little more, and then I had this though, I wonder how many of those people were sex offenders. The more I thought about it that was no place for anyone under 18.
So we roll back south to my buddy's house and hang around for a few minutes, then Lee Ann and myself roll out and I'm thinking "lets go to union terminal I bet she'll really enjoy that" so we go back across the river and I get turned around for a few minutes down some of these little shitty alleys and when I finely do get back on track I get behind this big rig and this white car pulls up behind it and the stops at about the front of my truck and rolls his window down and starts looking back at us with the same face as David Chappelle as Tyrone Biggums, and the dudes are waving at us trying to get us to follow them up this alley. I'm thinking the whole minute and a half "fuck me I try to do something cool and the one time I try I'm gonna get shot in the face by Tyrone Biggums... Fucking sweet". So they turn up the alley with their arms out the window motioning us and I go so straight of course, and I was really just waiting for them to come back and try something and then I would have to get my breaker bar from under my seat and pretend to be bat shit crazy so they would leave. Thank god they kept going.
We finely park and I could really see her eye light up. It really made me feel nice to see someone thank as much of that place as I did. we took us a little stroll around the fountain, and I'm not going to lie I really wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her tight I could tell she was cold but I don't think it was right for that just yet. So we got back in the truck and started rolling south as I was looking for Tyrone Biggums. we chatted it up the whole way back to her place, talking about food, and life, up to the point where I was almost too tired to speak any more, I dropped her off and told her how nice it was to have met her, and she stood outside and watch me drive away as she was waving from the garage, Not gonna lie I really enjoyed that.
As I drove back to my home I kept thinking about Lee Ann took care of that little lost girl and I loved it, even right now I still can't seem to get it out of my mind, such a good women to take care of that little girl like that. Its not often I get the butterfly's these days but I have to admit I might be a little smitten with this girl and it feels good to feel something like that again...
Tuesday
Comments On: Myth Of the Alpha Male Podcast
I made the mistake of listing to people drilling the "Alpha Male" life style and it's true it is just an excuse to be an ass. I started my little journey many years ago as a kid from the country that was basically modern Amish, the real world didn't exist to me, I never had a problem in my young life. I was taking college courses when I was 16 I was nice to everyone and I was very quite, and for some reason I was under the impression if I said the world sucks or anything worse I was going straight to hell. When I was 19 I met a girl who gave me attention and we ended up getting married when I was 20. I found out quickly it wasn't for me by 21 and was divorced by 22. I was lost I had no real personality because I had missed the opportunity to find myself when I was younger. I ended up playing a major game of what I thought was catch up, I ended up watching all this pick up stuff, and all I wanted was women and lots of them. This is when I wondered into the Alpha Male women love ass holes mind set.
I do believe some women love ass holes but then again other women love nice guys, and another subset love something else, I personally know a girl who's in to Amish men... As long as you true to what you are someones going to be attracted, I've saw lots of weirdo's that have all kinds of luck just because they don't have the need to change themselves. I went though and am still in my ass stage, I read all the material I could get my hands on about what women liked and that lead into me trying to change myself. I didn't feel good enough for anyone, of course I was still recovering from a divorce that I was terribly embarrassed \ ashamed of. I started out as the nice guy right after I separated from my wife, and later that year as I was saving up the money for my divorce I got scammed by afriend Dick for 1400 hundred bucks (lots of cash for a guy like me) that I was going to use for my divorce money. I grew a little bitter with the world during this period.
For a time I felt that everyone was judging me about my divorce and everyone just waned to take me for everything I was worth. My mind set had went from good ol boy to fuck them before they fuck me. I turned into the biggest jerk in the building where I worked. People started to avoid me out of fear of what mean thing I might say to them.
It's 6 years later now and I'm still working my way out of that Alpha Male ass stuff. I've always been kind of an intimidating guy I assume, very serious, never really ever shy but I was always quite (I am and always have been a listener), great sense of serious humor, I've always had an ego bigger than life. The main thing I've had trouble with is reputation, once it's changed into what it is it's extra hard to change it to what it really should be.
I guess my words of wisdom is don't give in to the bullshit, just be you, self improvement is one thing, changing for the sake of change is another... Good Luck...
Listen To The Podcast:
Here: http://theartofcharmpodcast.com/2014/09/10/james-fell-cutting-alpha-male-bs-episode-312/
I do believe some women love ass holes but then again other women love nice guys, and another subset love something else, I personally know a girl who's in to Amish men... As long as you true to what you are someones going to be attracted, I've saw lots of weirdo's that have all kinds of luck just because they don't have the need to change themselves. I went though and am still in my ass stage, I read all the material I could get my hands on about what women liked and that lead into me trying to change myself. I didn't feel good enough for anyone, of course I was still recovering from a divorce that I was terribly embarrassed \ ashamed of. I started out as the nice guy right after I separated from my wife, and later that year as I was saving up the money for my divorce I got scammed by a
For a time I felt that everyone was judging me about my divorce and everyone just waned to take me for everything I was worth. My mind set had went from good ol boy to fuck them before they fuck me. I turned into the biggest jerk in the building where I worked. People started to avoid me out of fear of what mean thing I might say to them.
It's 6 years later now and I'm still working my way out of that Alpha Male ass stuff. I've always been kind of an intimidating guy I assume, very serious, never really ever shy but I was always quite (I am and always have been a listener), great sense of serious humor, I've always had an ego bigger than life. The main thing I've had trouble with is reputation, once it's changed into what it is it's extra hard to change it to what it really should be.
I guess my words of wisdom is don't give in to the bullshit, just be you, self improvement is one thing, changing for the sake of change is another... Good Luck...
Listen To The Podcast:
Here: http://theartofcharmpodcast.com/2014/09/10/james-fell-cutting-alpha-male-bs-episode-312/
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